This post is to let all of you know that Josh and I have come to a decision. Because things have been so difficult as of late, we have decided, after much pondering and discussion, for Asher and me to move out temporarily. We will be living with my parents in North Provo. I am putting this on here because I want to be honest and open with all of our family and friends.
Although Josh doesn't want this to happen, he is willing to do whatever I feel will help me to be happiest. I have thought about this a lot and for a long period of time. I am going to dismiss my worry about what others are going to think, and go with what I feel in my heart is the right thing for me right now. I feel that having some time away from home will help me to gain perspective on where I am at in life, and why I have been feeling unhappy. I feel that it will give me some time on my own to change some things that I want to change, without the added stress of having to keep up a home and the constant worry of how everything I am doing will affect Josh. It's not that I don't care about how things affect him, but I have worried to the point where I have neglected myself.
I want to set the record straight by saying that Josh is a wonderful person, and although he is humble enough to feel that he has had a part in this, I feel that it is simply because of me not keeping myself emotional and psychologically healthy.
For those of you that I have talked to in depth about this, I sincerely appreciate the time you have taken to listen and the advice given and would like each of you to know that I am taking that advice to heart and using it daily. We are taking numerous steps to correct what has gone neglected. To those of you in our ward who check this, I will be attending my parents ward since I will be in that area. And most likely Josh will switch his records to the local family ward. We love each of you and hope to see you soon.
I appreciate the love and support we feel from each of you and will keep you updated on what is going on in our lives. Again, I simply feel that this is the best thing for me right now. Thanks to each of you for everything you do for us!
3 years ago
8 comments:
I hope things start looking up for you! Life can be hard at times and sometimes it can be better to get away and look at it from a different perspective. I respect you for doing what you need to do. Hang in there!
I will pray for you and put your name on the temple roll.
Always remember that your Heavenly Father wants you to be happy that is why he sent his son and why Christ offered offered himself through the Atonement. Draw upon the atonement, allow Christ to heal you. I have been healed by the power of the Atonement so many times. Remember you eternal potential and try to cultivate an eternal perspective.
I will keep you in my thoughts...
I will keep you in my prayers. I am sorry you are experiencing such a hard time right now. If there is anything you need please call. I too have had the power of the Atonement heal and strengthen me in my life and can testify that you do not have to go it alone because He is there for you.
-Lindsey
I wish you the best, Amber, and love you. I hope you will find that happiness you are seeking.
Amber I love you and am sorry that you are in pain. I know that this is difficult for you but I wanted you to know that I am praying for you and want you to find peace and happiness in your life. Love Mikey
Amber, my dear! I had no idea you were struggling with so many difficult emotions. I actually had never battled/understood depression until after I had Reid. It's such a frightening and horrible cycle when you feel trapped by the people that you love more than anything, and then you feel like a bad wife/mother and then you go back to feeling trapped...it's VERY lonely. I wish there was something I could do to help...maybe we should set up a play date? I will also definitely keep you in my prayers. I know how it feels to feel like no one understands, but we do! Just know that you are loved, and we will miss you and your sweet little boy in church. Seriously though, the swimming pool in Lehi is lots of fun for little ones, and it's really cheap--we should go!
Amber and Josh... I love you guys and are keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you see some light soon and find the help you need to feel at peace.
Amber... I need your phone #.
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