Asher is 1!!

I know it is a little after the fact, but I wanted to post some pictures of Asher's 1st birthday. Because Camille got married on his birthday (the 11th), we didn't celebrate it until the 24th. We had a lot of fun! Here are some pictures...

Instead of doing a big cake, I decided to do a cupcake tree. I was only going to feed Asher a cupcake but Josh didn't think that was big enough so I made a little cake for him.

Asher loved all of his new toys, clothes, and books! Again, thank you to everyone!

And finally the cake. I was so scared for this part because I try to keep Asher away from a lot of sweets. But he did really well. He enjoyed the cake and didn't go crazy when I took it away from him. He started out slow and then ended up eating almost half of the cake. It seemed so surreal to me to watch him eat his 1st birthday cake, when I have grown up watching videos of me and my siblings doing the same thing. So fun!
(excuse my weird singing face, not my most flattering moment.)


What a cutie! Happy Birthday Asher!!

New and Improved

New and Improved blog. New and Improved me. I have decided to try this blogging thing again, and do it more for me than for anyone else this time. I admire those who can be so open with their experiences and feelings. I tend to hide what I am really feeling, put up a front, a mask. But I am going to try to be more open. Very honestly, the last few months have been very trying. But I feel that I am at the tail end of the trial and am grateful to be on the other side of it. I am grateful for a wonderful, loving husband who has not judged or gotten angry with me, who humbly seeks to find ways that he can help the situation (even when I adamantly explain that it is just me), and who continually praises me for my progress and expresses love to me. I could not ask for more in a husband. And I am grateful to all who were willing to listen time and time again.
This time of trial has been a time of reflection for me. I realized a lot about myself. The greatest thing that I realized is that my most important role is in my home. I also realized that this is different for every woman. Just because I received this answer, does not mean that every other mother will. I realized how important it is to me to have a comfortable, clean, yummy smelling home environment. I realized how important it is for me to keep up my housework and to help Josh in all that he does in school and work to provide this life for me and for Asher. I realized that I am talented and creative and intelligent and can use all of that to raise my children to be wonderful people, and can use that to help my husband to be successful in his career.
I am not always confident. There are many times of self doubt, frustration with myself. I am human. But I also have the potential to be a Goddess, along side my husband. This life is wonderful! It is difficult! But it is wonderful! I am grateful for women who are strong and keep on keepin' on!
One of the most poignant realizations that I had was that I have control over my life. I am taking a class right now that is based around Dr. Stephen Covey's book "7 Habits for Highly Effective People." I strongly encourage everyone to take the time to take that class. It is offered at UVU! It is wonderful and definitely worth it! This class has helped me to wake up and understand that I can take responsibility for my own happiness. We do not have to be angry, hurt, frustrated, helpless, walked on, etc. We do not always have control over what happens to us, but we have control over the way we respond to what happens to us. What a wonderful concept to implement into our lives.
I know this is a long post, but I want to share one more thing. I believe that this conept has the power to transform any relationship. Josh and I love it! This is an exerpt from Habit 1: Be Proactive. Dr. Covey shares this experience:

"At one semniar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, 'Stephen, I like what you're saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I'm really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?'
"'The feeling isn't there anymore?' I said.
"'That's right,' he reaffirmed. 'And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?'
"'Love her,' I replied.
"'I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore.'
"'Love her.'
"'You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there.'
"'Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her.'
"'But how do you love when you don't love?'
"'My friend, love is a verb. Love-the feeling-is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?'
* * * * *
"In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsiblity and empowered them to do so.
"Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a vlaue that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured."

I just wanted to share that with everyone, I loved it soooo much! Life is hard and frustrating, mundane, routine, and monotonous, but it is also full of wonderful and exciting moments. We, I especially, need to live for the good moments, and have faith that when hard moments come, it is just another bridge we need to cross to find the next good moment!

Blah

I am just writing this for those few of you who do look at my blog. I have been busy with school and have kind of lost my enthusiasm for blogging. I'm no fun, I know. I do still enjoy looking at all of your blogs though. Anyway, I'm just writing this to let the couple people that check my blog know that I'll just send out an email to let you know when I do start blogging again, so you don't waste time checking it.

What is the deal?

I don't know how many of you watched American Idol on Wednesday night. Because I had class, I taped it and watched it yesterday. I could not believe when Ryan Seacrest said they had over 97 1/2 MILLION votes the night before! Personally, I feel that this is getting a little out of hand.

It made me reflect on how much I know about what is going on in the world around me. Most Americans have no idea what is going on with the presidential campaign and world news, but we all know who won American Idol. I realized how guilty I am of this also. I don't know a lot about what is going on around the world. I hear things in passing, or as I'm flipping through the channels and just happen to land on the news station. It is sad!

When we were in Disneyland I was nursing Asher in the nursing station and I couldn't help but listen to the conversation of the two women working there. They were talking about a Nicole who was having a baby. I just assumed they were talking about someone they worked with, the way they were so casual about it. It wasn't until they started talking about Angelina being pregnant also, that I realized they were talking about celebrities. The way they just through around their first names like they new them personally was so funny to me. I have been thinking about how easy it is to become wrapped up in the lives of celebrities, or the latest tv show. This realization has made me want to commit myself to becoming more involved in better things. I can do so much better with the way I use my time!

And another class...

In addition to my music classes at UVSC, my sister, Camille, and I have also begun a cake decorating class. We have both talked individually about doing it, and finally decided we would take the classes together. Last Saturday was the second class of the first course. (There are four classes in each course, and four courses total.) So, I thought I would share some pictures of the first cake I made (from scratch, mind you!) and decorated. Don't laugh!

I decided to do the cake for my mom for Mother's Day. It is a yellow cake with raspberry jam/jello filling.

Here, the cake is completely frosted. It is very difficult to get it completely smooth with this kind of frosting. Which is so frustrating because I can be a little OCD sometimes. Just doing that took A LOT of work! It still bugs me that I wasn't able to get it smoother...?...yeah, I don't think that's a word.

And the finished product! I put those little colorful dots all around the sides too. The flowers were outlined by cookiecutters, but the "Mom" is all freehand. Mildly humorous...but it's my first cake.

These classes are a lot more work (and money) than we anticipated. I think I have more homework for this class than my three UVSC classes combined. But we have a blast! Hopefully someday I'll be good enough to make a little side money from it. But for now, I'm just having fun!

Back to School

Well, I'm back in school.  I haven't taken any classes for a year now and for some reason it feels different to me.  I guess it's just being a mom or something...I feel old.  :o)  It's an interesting feeling.  I look around me and the majority of students I see are single and looking for that someone special.  And as grateful as I am to be past that part of life, it makes me feel like I don't fit in the college atmosphere anymore.  I guess that is just part of growing up though.  

But I have realized how much I missed being in a learning environment.  I am so excited to go to my classes and to do homework.  Ok, I'm a little nerdy.  And taking piano, voice instruction, and music 1010 doesn't give me bazillions of hours of homework, so maybe that's why I don't mind it.  The next half of the summer semester will be a little tougher with ethics and values and elementary astronomy.  Anyway, this is a boring post.  It's mostly just to say that I'm back to school!