The Terrys

What is up with me?

2010-12-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure I want to blog anymore. I've lost the desire. Bleh! We're on facebook now, if anyone would like to be our friend and keep up on us more that way. We're on there as Josh-Amber Terry. We'll see how the blogging goes. I might just keep family stuff updated on facebook and focus on my personal journal more than anything else. Although I'm not very good at facebooking either. :o)

Love you all!!!

Okay Okay

2010-10-20T07:54:00.001-06:00

If you'd like, you can check out some new cakes I did for my sister-in-law's wedding a couple weekends ago.

Check out the Wedding cakes page and the Special Occasion cakes page at And Everything Nice Cakes.

P.S. I'll post pictures of Asher's 3rd b-day dinosaur party soon.

Nothing

2010-10-18T08:05:00.001-06:00

I have been a terrible blogger as of late. It's just that every time I come to make a new post... I don't feel like I have anything to say.

March 22nd

2010-08-27T10:54:00.000-06:00

Estimated due date for

Terry Baby #3!!

Funnier and funnier

2010-08-21T09:08:00.000-06:00

Asher has definitely been keeping us laughing while on this vacation. (We're in Missouri visiting Josh's mom and visiting the sites.)

-The other day we were eating lunch and Josh's mom asked Asher if he wanted some of her cookie. As he came around the table he was saying "Maybe....." He usually says, "Maybe.... yeah!" But the cookie fell on the ground and he looked at it and finished his sentence, ".....not." Sometimes the facial expression and tone of voice are the best!

-I was eating spaghetti the other night and he looked at me and said, "That's not scabetti!" I said, "Oh yeah? Then what is it?" Asher replied, "It's a stripe you can eat!"

-And yesterday we were visiting the WWI Museum in Kansas City. We were on the deck looking at the city when Josh said, "Asher, I sure love you!" Asher said, "I love you too daddy! You're my great enemy!" Haha!

He sure has an imagination. I don't even know where he gets this stuff.

So cute!!

2010-08-16T08:44:00.000-06:00

Last Friday Josh stayed home from work to help me prepare for our family to fly out to Missouri early Sat. morning. We are visiting Josh's mom and will be in the area for 10 days. Anyway....

Friday morning, after waking up, Asher crawled into bed with us. He got all cozy and was turned facing me, but with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes, and with his face close to mine, looked at me and said, "You're amazing" ... The moments that make it all worth it!

Then later that day he was sitting in the bathtub playing with the bubbles. He had been watching Monsters vs. Aliens earlier that day. I asked him to scoot over so I could wash his body. He said he couldn't because he was a giant robot. He was putting bubbles all over his arms and body. I said, "Well, come over here, robot, so I can wash your body!" He turned and looked at me and said, "Are you kidding? ... I'm a giant robot." I cracked up. I don't know where he picks up this stuff. "Are you kidding?" So funny to hear come out of a little not-even-three-year-old's mouth.

He keeps me laughing!

Party!

2010-08-12T08:41:00.001-06:00

We celebrated Lena's party on Sat. the 7th. We tried to keep it small, with mostly family and a few of our closest friends. It was a fun day... well, the day leading up to the party was actually not so fun, but the party was! :o)

The party


Super adorable hat our friend, Kristin (and her daughter) made

For some reason Lena is terrified of this little stuffed piggie gift

I was testing her with it and my sister was able to catch these faces


Isn't that the cutest pouty face you've ever seen?

It took a while to get her going with the cake

But soon enough she got the hang of it

Asher was happy to help

After at least a half hour or so, this was about as messy as she got


My cute brother! He loves his niece

I just can't believe my baby is 1! Now onto planning Asher's 3rd birthday! Wow!

Baby Girl

2010-08-04T09:29:00.001-06:00

I can't believe my baby girl is ONE! (I'm a little late. Her birthday was Monday.) I'd like to list a few things to remember about Lena at this time in her life.

1 - Lena still only has her bottom two teeth. But I can see the top two getting ready to make their appearance.

2 - She loves to smile, and it is rare to see her without a smile on her face.

3 - Even though she's getting older, she still likes to cuddle with mommy, especially when she's tired, cold, or scared. She'll lay her head down on my shoulder. It's adorable! (She cuddles with dad, too.) Anytime I'm on the floor she'll stand up against me and lay her head up against me. She'll get into my lap any way she can. (She's a pretty good climber and can get up on stacked couch cushions or on the couch even when the cushions are off.)

4 - Everyone tells me she is one of the most beautiful babies they have ever seen. (I put that because I want her to be able to know that in the future.)

5 - She loves attention. She is always smiling and waving at everyone, especially those sitting behind us in church.

6 - She only fusses and cries when she's hurt, hungry, or tired. Otherwise she is very patient and happy.

7 - Lena will just laugh for no reason. I'll hear her in the other room laughing by herself.

8 - She is started to mimic words. After giving her something she'll say, "dee doo" (thank you). She likes to play a game with you where she'll hand you something and say "dee doo" and then when you give it back she'll say it again. The one word that is unmistakable is daddy. She is always saying "daddy, daddy" and she says it with the same tone every time. She also says "daa!" when she's trying to call for him. She loves her daddy. She says a few other words that aren't quite as clear. Like when I say "Woo Hoo" she says, "Woo!" in her cute little girl voice. And she is always babbling. She loves to use her voice. Oh, another thing she mimics is when I say "ha ha ha". She'll repeat it, it's funny.

9 - She is already starting to sing. It took Asher a lot longer to start singing. She'll sing "baa-paa, baa-paa" like the Dora song "backpack, backpack". When music is on or we're singing around the house she'll chime in with nonsense words, but definitely in a sing song voice.

10 - She likes to crawl in and out of little places. She loves to crawl behind chairs up against the wall, or under the chairs. Sometimes she gets stuck and gets frustrated. It's pretty funny!

11 - Because Asher is currently obsessed with dinosaurs, he talks about them a lot. Whenever he brings them up, if Lena hears, she'll make a "raaaagh" sound with her mouth, trying to mimic Asher always making "rawr" sounds.

12 - She is starting to walk. She's been pushing herself up to a standing position on her own for a while, but just this week she's started walking. And it's not just a step here or there. Every time she pushes herself up (which is a lot) she's taking a few steps every time. She'll have it down in no time.

13 - She gets so excited sometimes that it seems like she can't contain herself and just has to move all around. She loves to shake her head back and forth. She thinks it's so funny to go back and forth with someone doing that. She also likes to put her head to one side and smile at you. Precious.

14 - She's starting to point at everything and talk, even though she's just saying babble words. She's becoming very curious.

15 - She seems to be sensitive. She doesn't like really loud noises. If it startles her she'll get scared and cry a little. But she usually cuddles on your shoulder which is so cute that I don't mind. :o)

16 - Any time I say "Yay!" she claps.

17 - Even though she's small, she sometimes out eats Asher. She can eat so much!! And she eats anything, which is nice... but sometimes not as you'll see in the next one. :o)

18 - She is very mischievous. She likes to get into things. She loves to eat anything off the floor. It's ridiculous! I don't even know where she gets some of it. I am always checking her mouth to make sure there's nothing gross in there. And she likes to pull my bottom drawer out and pull all my shirts out.

19 - She likes anything small. Like rocks, or wheels to Asher's cars. She'll carry them all around the house and I'll find them everywhere... and sometimes in her mouth.

20 - She makes you feel special just by looking at you. With her beautiful smile and happy countenance, she is such a joy to have in our home and in our family!! Happy Birthday, Lena Lou!

Wedding Cake

2010-07-29T07:35:00.001-06:00

Check out the newest cake in my repertoire!

Just click here.

Depth

2010-07-17T20:13:00.000-06:00

Josh is in the other room reading to Asher before bed. As I wait for him to finish I find myself thinking about thinking. I worry sometimes that I have lost my depth. I read posts and thoughts from others and find myself wondering why I don't post more personal thoughts and feelings. I do every now and then, but that is basically when I am having a meltdown and I need to vent somewhere.

I wonder if I allow myself to get so caught up in the day to day routine that I don't spend much time thinking like I used to. I know I am a thinker. I always have been, sometimes to a fault. But I don't express it like I used to. There is so much else crowding my mind.

But when it really comes down to it, my blog is much the way I am around most people... it rarely ventures past the surface things. Why do I feel myself putting up a face so often? I can't remember back to a time when I wasn't this way. It has nothing to do with others, it's just me. Maybe it started when I found myself battling the depression. When I am there it is hard to express it to anyone that I am not extremely close to. And for those few I do feel are close enough I apologize because they usually get the brunt of it!

I want to say that I'm going to make my blog more personal, but I can't promise anything. Every time I say that I eventually get away from it. I want to be more cultured. I want to have my own ideas, to stop reading others' ideas and wishing they were my own. I want to have more of an opinion. I want to feel like I am somebody in this great, big world.

Beautiful

2010-07-03T09:24:00.000-06:00

Kids and undies and Lena about to fly away

2010-07-01T08:50:00.000-06:00

Lena's wings courtesy of Josh. Both kids' gorgeous eyes courtesy of Josh's genes.

Wanna know what Asher could look like in 20 years?

2010-07-01T08:47:00.000-06:00

Goatee (and nose dot) courtesy of a chocolate ice cream cone.

A Day at the Park

2010-07-01T08:44:00.000-06:00

Pictures courtesy of my sister, Kayla.

New Cakes

2010-06-29T18:03:00.002-06:00

Hey! Check out my most recent cakes! Under the birthday cakes tab on my cake blog!

Facebook II

2010-06-29T17:55:00.001-06:00

After my post a few weeks ago about not wanting a facebook... Josh and I have finally cracked. We now have a facebook page together.

We found out recently of two good friends who have been extremely ill. The only reason we didn't know before now is because we aren't on facebook... Which makes me not want to have one even more. I just don't like that we don't keep in contact even by phone anymore. It's all over the computer!! Goodness!!! Ok, I'll step off the soapbox before I really get going.

Anyway, if anyone would like to add us we'll be under Josh-Amber Terry. It'll be joint.

Ode to Spring

2010-06-08T10:26:00.004-06:00

My dear Spring,

Oh, how I missed you during those long, winter months.

It seemed as though they would never end.

Then you teased me by coming and going,

and coming and going.

Now it seems you are here to stay.

I felt joy as I pushed my children in the swings on that warm Spring morning...

Until I felt a pesky mosquito sucking the blood out of my head.

I swiped at the mosquito and spent the rest of the morning full of vanity as I wondered if I had others' blood smeared across my forehead.

You caused this, Spring.

Spring, do you know what a tiring task it is to keep from scratching a mosquito itch?

I do not think you do, or you would not inflict this vexation upon us.

You are unsympathetic to this utter misery.

I now sit in the arduous endeavor of not ripping off my forehead.

I leave you with these final words, Spring.

The next time you determine you will send a mosquito my way,

just remember the plum-size ball of absolute itch protruding from my head,

the symbol of your handiwork,

and please find it in your heart to muster up some mercy.

It's Here!

2010-06-02T12:50:00.002-06:00

My cake blog is up and running! Take a look!
If you have any suggestions, please let me know!
And become a follower, too!! Pretty please!

Some goings on

2010-06-02T08:39:00.000-06:00

It took me a while to figure out this new picture posting system. I feel so technologically challenged. Anyway, Lena is growing so fast! She is 10 months today and is already walking along furniture and practicing letting go while standing. It is fun to see how different children are in their advancements. I love the picture with her and Josh. She looks so tiny!

My mom graduated from UVU with her Bachelor's in Social Work this last semester. It was such a milestone for her. She applied and was accepted to the Master's program at BYU and will be starting that later this month. We are so proud of her! She still has three children at home, went through two weddings, two births of grandchildren, buying a house and moving, working 30+ hours a week while going to school with 12-15 credits. Oh, and she graduated cum laude!! WOW!

Asher has recently stopped taking naps. I know, it doesn't look like it! :o) He still needs naps, he just doesn't want to take them anymore so he'll lay around in bed for 2 hours or so. He'll finally get to sleep but by then it's so late that he doesn't want to go to sleep at bedtime. So, we've taken to getting him to bed a lot earlier so he gets adequate rest. But, as you can see, some days he's still tired and falls asleep mid-activity. Poor kid!

Another funny sleep position. Oh, by the way, we have a cat! We got her a few months ago. She's a sweetheart! Although she's NOT supposed to be on furniture. :o)

Josh had a big work party a couple weekends ago. They go all out! They had a lot of big balloon toys for the kids to play on/in. They also made this train the day before the party, out of spare work parts, I guess. It was pulled by a 4-wheeler. Asher and Josh had a lot of fun playing! When Josh is around Asher doesn't want to have anything to do with me... And even sometimes when Josh isn't here. Sometimes I get down about it, like when he says, "I don't like Mommy, only Daddy, an Asher, and Lena." :o( But I guess it's part of life for moms. Hopefully none of you have to go through that.

Awww... what cute kids!!

P.S. Lena had her 9 month check-up last month, and contrary to what you might think she was only in the 10th percentile for height and weight. Crazy, huh? You'd never think it with those cheeks! She's probably due for a growth spurt soon.

Facebook

2010-06-02T08:08:00.001-06:00

It's sad when I am the only one of my friends that has no idea what is going on with anyone because I'm not on facebook.

Am I the only one who doesn't have one?

And doesn't want one?

Somebody Please Explain

2010-05-14T06:52:00.002-06:00

The other day I was driving by a certain laundry place on Freedom Blvd. down here in South Provo. I remember this business being here when I lived in this area as a kid... So it seems to have been around for a while.

While stopped at the stop light, I glanced over at this business' sign and it read,
"Computer Acess Now Open
Life is Beautifal
Celebrate Every Day"

No, those are not typos. Is this some kind of joke that I don't understand? Or is the economy in such dire straits that spelling is no longer a prerequisite to passing business classes?

Honestly.

This Means War

2010-05-12T07:45:00.002-06:00

Josh is very adept at playing pranks. You should hear some of the stuff he got guys to do on his mission, or things he pulls at work. I, on the other hand, am not. I can't keep surprises from Josh, even when I try my hardest. I always end up telling him before it happens. And I definitely can't pull pranks. It is so difficult for me to keep a straight face, even for just a minute.

Because of this, Josh has been able to prank me quite a bit without being on the receiving end from me. For example, he has turned the shower head and before I noticed it, I turned on the shower and all the water came spraying out all over the bathroom. There was also one night when I laid down and turned to cuddle up to him and felt a lump underneath me. I just assumed it was Josh's arm in a funny place, so I tried readjusting. That didn't help, so I moved again and finally realized it was something underneath me. Josh, all the while, has said nothing, hasn't even made a face. To make a long story short, I finally realized he had stuck a dirty diaper underneath the mattress cover. Luckily it was only filled with pee.

Well, the latest was last night. I was up later than Josh because I had to finish up some work for my at-home customer service position. Josh was asleep by the time I went to bed. I started brushing my teeth and immediately started to feel tingly all over my mouth. I realized what the taste was and spit it out, not believing what I was experiencing. I rinsed my toothbrush and applied more toothpaste. This time, despite my lips, tongue, and gums going numb, I finished brushing. Josh had put baby orajel all over my toothbrush. It took quite a few minutes for my mouth to feel normal again. I'm sure you're laughing, I am too. But at the time I was thinking, "Are you kidding me? I cannot believe this!" I wrote him a message on the mirror that this means war. Wanna know what he wrote back? Not, "Ooh, bring it on." Or "Oh, I'm scared!" He wanted to know when I noticed and, if it was after I'd brushed, what the affects were on my mouth. Twerp!

I am determined to get him back. But I'm not good at this. Do any of you have any funny/annoying, not too mean, prank ideas that I can pull on him?

Motivation

2010-05-10T07:52:00.002-06:00

I am going to go completely out of my comfort zone and talk about something that I feel very ashamed to talk about. I am having a very difficult time finding motivation to do much of anything these days. It's interesting because I feel that way most of the time when I am really down in the depression, but I haven't necessarily been down like that. I just don't want to do anything around my house, or anything out of the house most times either. We get invited to things with friends or family and I get excited at first, but then when it comes time to get ready, or prepare the food, I just don't want to do it. It's terrible!

But then when I don't get things done I feel worse. I feel terrible when Josh comes home from a long day at work to a dirty house. Then he feels that he needs to be doing more around the house, when it's really me that is slacking on my responsibilities as a homemaker. I don't want him to come home to anything but a loving family and yummy food. (And maybe taking out the trash every now and then :o) )

I used to be a great housekeeper until I had Lena. I don't know what changed. I mean, things are harder with two children as opposed to one, but a lot of other women get a lot more accomplished with a lot more children. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it is extremely difficult not to, at least for me. I feel very small and inadequate a lot of the time. I am constantly worrying about whether or not to have more children. I worry that I am just being selfish, and that's why I'm not accomplishing anything that needs to be done. I don't know!

I feel like I might be a better mom to my children if I were to get out of the house and work or go to school or something. But then I feel guilty about even toying with the idea of leaving my children in someone else's care. I feel so selfish.

And on days that I do have motivation, it usually lasts for an hour or so and then dissipates. I feel that I am creative and have talent for some things and could be doing so much more. I feel like I'm wasting these precious years of my family's life by being lazy. Most of all, I feel like I am sleepwalking.

I look at all of you and see all of the things you are doing and the happiness that manifests through your posts. I know that we usually put up our happy face... I'm probably the queen of that... but I can't help but feel that I am just not cutting it.

I just can't seem to escape these feelings. I wish I were stronger! I will feel good for a little while and then slip right back into it. It is so disappointing every time I feel this way again. But when it comes down to it, I know this is something I am going to battle my whole life on this earth. I really should stop complaining about it. So many others have such bigger trials than I do. I really should feel grateful!

Well... I'll finish now. Sometimes I need to use this blog to vent my true feelings. I think it builds up for a while and then all comes tumbling out. Sorry! But do any of you go through times like this? What do you do to overcome it?

Out of the Mouth of Babes

2010-04-21T10:10:00.004-06:00

Monday night was a pretty hard night for Asher. He woke up over a dozen times crying and fussing. I think he might have been too warm and it was causing him to have bad dreams. I am usually the one that wakes up with the kids but every now and then I am so tired that I don't even wake up. This was one of those nights so Josh was taking care of it. He finally went in and slept with Asher for a few hours.

Josh told me the next morning something that happened during the night. At one point Asher woke up really crying and having a hard time. Josh went in and asked him what was wrong and this is what Asher said,

"Jesus died for me."

Aren't children amazing?!?!

Update on the Kiddos-Lena

2010-04-07T09:12:00.009-06:00

Ok, I've retyped this like four times and cannot figure out how to get it not to be huge, even on the smallest font setting. I've tried re-posting it three times. It won't work! Sorry it's so big!!

Miss Lena Lou
-Is 8 months
-Is getting around pretty well these days. Not quite crawling on hands and knees but getting there
-Loves to have her tongue sticking out
-Has her two bottom teeth
-Is very social and will smile at pretty much anyone
-But doesn't like to be left alone for too long
-Loves to be tickled
-Is a drama queen already and makes a big deal out of little things. She can already produce big crocodile tears a the drop of a hat.
-Loves to laugh and will sometimes laugh just by me looking at her
-Loves her big brother, even though he's not the nicest sometimes
-Is eating baby food and some soft foods from mommy's plate
-Is a great sleeper!
-Is losing her chubby thighs... but don't worry, her cheeks are still as chubby as ever
-Is quite the talker... and squealer... and screamer! I'm not kidding, it's loud! I don't quite know what to do about it because she's just so happy!
-Loves music
-Is finally growing hair in her bald spot on the back of her head
-Really only cries when she's tired or hurt
-Loves attention
-Loves mommy more than anyone! :o)
-And is pretty much the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Seriously! I sometimes can't believe it!

Update on the Kiddos-Asher

2010-04-07T08:33:00.008-06:00

Asher Basher
-Quite the 2 1/2 yr. old
-Loves to help cook dinner, wash dishes, and vacuum
-Pretty good with picking up his toys and throwing away his garbage
-Also pretty good at throwing tantrums and hitting (We're working on that. I keep hearing it's the age but it's hard to not feel like I've ruined him.)
-Loves playhouse Disney
-LOVES reading books
-Is most interested in toys that make him think. He isn't really pulled to mindless toys
-LOVES daddy and won't let mommy do anything for him when daddy is home (which is a nice break for me sometimes)
-Has recently stopped liking saying prayers
-But loves family home evening and singing primary songs
-Likes to make up words. His current favorite is "deek-ee-deek." That is answer for pretty much anything. "What book do you want to read?" "What would you like for lunch?" etc.
-Loves to be tickled
-Loves drawing and is getting very deliberate with it as you can see from the picture below. That was all him. He started drawing and then said, "Look! A smiley face!" Don't mind the scary demon smile. That's the way he smiles when he says "cheese" right now.
-Can count to 15 or so.
-Knows most of the colors
-Knows most shapes, including crescent and semi-circles
-Sleeps in funny positions sometimes, as shown below
-Loves dinosaurs and is always acting like one
-Likes to tell stories about "huge big dinosaurs" coming to bite us
-And for being a toddler, is still very sweet and obedient and loving!

Dinner & Breakfast

2010-04-07T08:10:00.003-06:00

Tuesday night dinner:

Tofu Burritos
Yes! This is my 2 1/2 year old son eating tofu!

These burritos are really good! It takes a little getting used to eating food without all the sodium to flavor it. But I am soon learning to use different spices that are better for us.

One of my new favorite breakfasts:
-Cream of Wheat with:
-wheat germ
-flax seed
-bee pollen
-protein powder
and
-fresh cut up bananas and strawberries!
-and sometimes a dash of soy milk to thin it a little
-and, of course, water!!

Asher also asked for fresh blueberries in his this morning

Clean Eating

2010-04-06T09:11:00.007-06:00

Last year, while in dental assisting school, I was made aware of a diet called the Eat Clean Diet. A woman I was in school with told me about a woman named Tosca Reno and about her books. I feel that I have been receiving promptings about changing our eating habits for the last few years, but haven't done much about it yet. I didn't know very much and the task seemed so daunting to me. Until I read these books.

I bought Tosca's basic book, "The Eat-Clean Diet" and began reading. I read it very quickly and then checked her recipe books out from the library. I started implementing the diet last summer while pregnant with Lena. We immediately felt a difference in our energy. Let me pause and make a note that this is not a diet, it is a lifestyle.

I now own five of Tosca's books and have become obsessed with reading them. She is not the first to put this idea out there. It has been around for years and years, but Tosca has found a way to make it easier to understand and to implement. As I read her books, everything seemed so right and natural. The basic theory is to eat the food God gave us in the way that He gave it to us, and in proper portion sizes. She talks a lot about the way society is going and is a big advocate for getting rid of everything processed.

Josh and I are ALWAYS tired! At the end of the day we don't feel the energy to do anything. And we don't even eat that poorly compared to most of the nation. But our bodies just can't handle all the processed junk anymore. Tosca talks about having more energy than you know what to do with. Another note, this is not a restricted calorie diet. Tosca is not an advocate for counting calories.

The reason I am writing this post is because I have decided that we are going to dive head first into Clean Eating. I am going to hold myself accountable by posting what we are eating and how we are feeling. This will be more for me than you. But if you'd like to know more about it I would be happy to tell you more!

We did some spring cleaning this last weekend and are getting rid of everything in our cabinets that is not "Clean." Here is what we found:

If you can't tell, above is white and brown sugar. Below is white rice and white flour.
Pretty gross, huh?

And here is something I am super excited about! With part of our tax return we purchased this:
A Blendtec blender!! This will help a ton in making clean foods. Especially since everything is made from scratch, pretty much, and there is a lot of cutting of vegetables. This baby can do blend pretty much anything! Really! On their site they show it blending golf balls and iPhones. This will help with cutting up veggies, making soups, smoothies and green drinks, batters, and more!

Now I need to get shopping...

Stay Tuned

2010-03-30T11:28:00.002-06:00

Coming Soon...

And Everything Nice Cakes Blog!

Yay!!

So long

2010-03-23T08:57:00.003-06:00

I feel like I haven't blogged in so long! I feel like I'm letting life get away from me. I am juggling being a stay-at-home mommy to two small children, keeping my house in order, trying to take an online public speaking course to finish up my Associates, and working part-time from home (and looking into starting another part-time job in a couple weeks.) And I just got my wisdom teeth out on Friday. Bleh!

At the moment I feel like I am drowning in my responsibilities and don't have time to do the things I would really like to do like play more with my children, have fun outings, make better dinners, and work on projects to beautify my home. I feel that I am not using my time wisely. And sitting here typing about all of this doesn't help. :o)

I am working on a speech for my class about someone I admire and why. I chose to speak on Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley. I was reading in "Glimpses" to get some ideas of what I want to talk about and I came across this quote from a speech she gave to a group of women:

"We have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove anything, to be what we are."

This has inspired me to take some time to ponder the things that are truly important to me. Some things do not matter. After deciding on the things that are important enough to hold onto, and letting go of the not-so-important things, I plan to ponder what pace is comfortable to me. And try and try until I get it right and then stick to it. I think this will help with my feelings of being overwhelmed much of the time.

I feel like there is always something. I am always saying, "Things will slow down after ______." Or "As soon as I get through ______, I'll have more time." Last night Josh and I were talking about what sacrifices are and aren't worth it. He gently reminded me (and himself) that our children will only be in our home all day for a few more years. Then they will be off to school all day. That time may seem far away but many of the things I am trying to push into now can wait until they are in school. I think too much about right now. I want to work on having a bigger perspective. I want to take time now to be with my children before they are gone at school and in someone else's care for most of the day.

Not to say that there are not things that should be done now. Like my Associates degree. I'm 4 credits away and I feel that it would be silly to just stop. I might as well get the last few credits finished so that if I go back later I don't have to start all over. But do I really have to do it all right now? It gives me a good amount to ponder. Especially with something I have lately been looking into doing. (I don't want to blog about it until it's a for sure thing.)

Just some thoughts...

And the Winner Is ....

2010-02-25T08:05:00.003-07:00

I apologize that it has taken so long to post the winner of my little competition. I LOVED the suggestions given and it was very difficult to decide on which name I liked the most. I really appreciate all of your submissions and ideas! I could never have come up with some of those. You are all very creative!

After thinking it through and the idea of what I want to have behind my cake business I have made my decision.

And the winner is.... Drum roll please.......

"And Everything Nice Cakes" submitted by my cousin, Ashley Jones. I am in the process of registering it as a name. So far, I have found out that it is not currently registered in the state of Utah. Yay!

Like I said, I loved all of the submissions! It was a hard decision. There were so many very creative and cute ideas. But I eventually decided on this name because I like that the "everything nice" can show that I do all different types of cakes - everything! That I am versatile in what I offer... and that all of it is nice! :o) I also really liked the play on the "sugar and spice" saying.

I will definitely keep my favorites in mind, just in case something goes wrong with the name I have chosen. My next project will be to get the name officially registered and with a cute design and then to get the blog up and running. I will continue to keep you posted on the progress and would love any ideas or referrals.

A special thank you to all who submitted ideas!!

A PS to Ashley... I'll talk with you tomorrow at our girl's night (YAY!) about ideas of what we can do for your cake. I was thinking it'd be fun to do a graduation/going away cake for you!

Latest Cake

2010-02-09T09:20:00.003-07:00

This cake was for my good friend Kiara's family baby shower. She is hawaiin, hence the haku lei. I had a lot of fun with this one!!

Now that I have some experience with the cakes, I am thinking about making it more into a business. I want to start a blog just for my cakes, but need to think of a name first. So, I have decided to ask for your participation. I want a real cute, modern, girly name for my cake business. And if I pick your idea, I'll bake and decorate a 6 in. cake for your next event for free! Feel free to submit more than one idea, if you want.

Sick babies and Gratitude

2010-02-04T10:45:00.003-07:00

I have been a little out of blogging for a couple weeks because both of my kids have been sick. And I mean SICK! Last week Asher started out with a cough and progressively got worse. His fever started to go up on Saturday so I took him to an after hours clinic. His temperature was 103.5 and he had ear infections in both ears. We got antibiotics and he has progressively gotten better. It broke my heart seeing him just sitting listlessly and barely able to hold his eyes open. He hardly ate a thing for three days.

Then Carolina started in on Sunday. She had a lot of the same symptoms but didn't have much of a fever. Her nose was running like a faucet. I have never seen anything like it. She would sneeze and snot would come dripping out and before I could wipe it off she'd rub her nose and spread it all over her face and hair. At first I thought it might just be teething, but then yesterday she started to get a fever. I took her in last night and she turned out to have a double ear infection as well. Her and Asher are now on the same antibiotic. For any of you who know Lena, you know how happy and fun she is. I don't think she's smiled in four days. That is NOT like her!

It is terrible to see your kids sick. Lena hasn't really been sick yet until now, but this was the most sick Asher has ever been. It is so hard to feel like you have no control and can't help them to feel better. Anyway, hopefully they will both continue to get better and get back to their usually selves.

As I was waiting for Lena's prescription last night, I talked with a couple other women in the waiting area. One had two children and the other had a little boy. Her little boy is 2 and she just turned 19. And the other was saying that a year ago she lost two babies within 11 months of each other. The one with the little boy had a lip piercing and the other woman's little girl said something about it. That got the two women talking about their piercings and tattoos. They talked about living with their parents. I don't think either of them were married.

Don't get me wrong, they were very nice! They talked to me and asked questions about my children. And I am not judging them. I have multiple piercings (3 in each ear), and many of you might be surprised to know that I have 2 tattoos as well. (Especially Josh's family because I don't think any of you know about those.) I hope this doesn't change any of your opinions about me. :o) I used to be slightly rebellious. :o) But as I sat and listened to them talk about their current situations, I felt so grateful for the knowledge that I have. I know the value of family. I have a wonderful husband and beautiful children and we are sealed for time and all eternity. I have the opportunity to be with them forever because of the covenants I have made! I am so grateful to know of Heavenly Father's plan for His children. I still have MANY things to work on and will throughout this life. But I have knowledge and testimony of the gift of the Atonement to help me. I am grateful for situations like this that help me to surface from my complacence and realize everything that I am blessed with and Heavenly Father's love for me!

Little Things

2010-01-16T08:20:00.003-07:00

After class yesterday I was waiting for the bus that takes us cheapies clear out to the free parking lot on UVU campus. As I was walking up to the bus stop, I noticed a girl (woman, rather) walking up as well. I didn't get a good look at her until she came to sit down, but I noticed she was talking to herself a little. As she came closer I noticed that she seemed to be handicapped in some way. As I sat there reading my book, she started talking to the guy on her left. He made polite comments but didn't engage in conversation. Then, the guy on her right (in between me and the girl) started talking to her. He continued to ask her questions about what classes she was taking, where she's from, etc. As the bus pulled up, he asked if she needed help with her bag and proceeded to carry it on for her. He could have stopped there, found a seat on the opposite end and called it good. But he sat right by her and continued their conversation for the entire bus ride. He also helped her with her bag again as she got off at her stop.

I couldn't help but notice how bright she was. She had such a beautiful spirit. She seemed to be happy and confident and was so friendly. The man was so kind to her and she seemed so happy for the attention and conversation.

It was such a small thing but it made my day! I love to witness small acts of kindness, things that no one thinks anyone else notices. I had the thought that I would like to be more like both of these individuals; the girl who was so bright and cheerful and friendly. I would like to reach out and talk to others more. I don't know why I become so shy with people that I don't know. I would also like to be more like the young man; kind enough to engage in conversation with someone that might not have that happen often. He didn't care one bit what others thought of him, or of talking about himself. I do not remember him saying anything about himself at all. He directed the whole conversation to her and seemed to go out of his way to make her feel important. But at the same time, he did not act as though it was a huge thing. It seemed to be in his nature. They both inspired me to want to be a little brighter and to seize the opportunity to share that light whenever I can.

Happy Birthday

2010-01-14T08:31:00.005-07:00

HaPpy BIrtHdaY to my LOVE!! Josh is 27 today! Wow!!

I remember being about 16 and thinking that it was going to be forever before I was married and having children. I will turn 25 next month, and at 16 that seemed so far away! I remember thinking I would have everything figured out and do I? Nope! But that is what this life is about, I think, figuring it all out.

Anyway, now my husband is pushing 30 and I'm not far behind. It's crazy to me! But I think these next few years are going to be great! Me, right beside my eternal companion, watching our children grow and learn, and accomplishing goals together. What could be better?

December Catch Up

2010-01-04T17:07:00.007-07:00

We started out our Christmas festivities with Josh's work's annual Christmas party. This year was a big one because their CEO is retiring. The parties are always fun because we get to dress up and go out just us.

The next big event (although there were little events in between) was the annual LL Bean party put on by some friends. They had an ugly sweater contest of sorts. I borrowed my parents' clothes. My mom has so many cheesy Christmas sweaters. I actually won in the woman's division. I was decked out in a turtle neck, sweater vest, bell earrings, lights necklace, and even Santa socks. If you can, you should look at the clothes close up. They're great! Josh took this picture of me to remind me to never dress like this. (Sorry, Mom!) Oh, and I got a hair cut and color!

Because we do so much as an immediate family on Christmas Eve, we celebrated Christmas Eve with my grandma the night of the 20th. These are a couple of pictures of that night. Notice my mom behind Lena wearing that very same sweater vest. Haha!

Gosh, look at those cheeks! You'd think I was producing pure cream!

My grandma gave us a portable washing machine in a bucket for our food storage. Asher found some other uses for it.

Josh was ecstatic to be there! Just kidding, he was REALLY tired!

Then, a few days before Christmas Asher and I put a gingerbread house together from a kit I had previously purchased. It started ok...

But soon we started having problems. I knew Asher wouldn't be patient enough to let the icing dry so we forged on. I kept trying to put everything back in place, but I failed as you can see.

Yeah, by this point just about everything was sliding off. I gave up! But Asher and I had fun together. That's what counts!
The next few pictures are to show how much Asher was eating. There are at least 5 other than these pictures with his fingers in the frosting/candy.

Next are the Christmas Eve/Christmas Day pictures at my parents'.

And that's the end of the Christmas pictures. :o) We recorded everything on Christmas day so we don't have any pictures at either of our parents' houses. Hopefully we can pull some still images from the video footage.

My dad turned 50 on the 27th, which was a Sunday, so the night before (the day after Christmas) was the celebration. My mom, sisters, and I planned a surprise party for him. He was actually surprised which is amazing because he usually catches on to everything.
Below is my dad talking to his mom and an old high school friend. If you can see the picture close up, his button says, "I'm 50 I only look 35" Hehe! They both really do look good for their age.

Because my dad doesn't really like gifts or parties, we decided to throw a service party for him. He had the opportunity to travel to Africa last Feb. to a village that his employer (also Josh's employer) sponsors. Ever since then he has been very involved in raising money for the children in the Yehu Village in Mombasa, Kenya. Anyway, we put together school kits for those children. We also gave him a framed picture of him with a bunch of the kids. And Josh put together a DVD of all the pictures my dad took on his trip. And then we took donations to help my dad help the village. With a 50% match from my dad's work, we were able to gain $900. It was an awesome present for him! Below is him holding the picture and speaking a little about the village. It turned out to be a great night!

And I made a cake for the occasion, of course. Gotta throw that one in there! :o)

These two are just to show my cute kids!

Yes, Asher is in Lena's bouncy chair. I probably shouldn't let him, but he looks so comfortable. His mouth is like that because we were listening to Miles Davis and he was trying to sound like a trumpet.

For memories' sake

2009-12-16T06:58:00.007-07:00

Look at that cute boy! It's hard to remember him that little! This is a post to remember a few funny things that Asher is saying right now:

-He calls M&Ms "eminees"

-He came up to me the other day and asked, "What are you doing, donk?" ??
-He loves the phrase, "We gotta be careful because it's dangerous" He actually says all of those words. I wish I could put how he says it because that's the cutest part.
-He was watching "Aladin" and toward the end he came up to me, hugged me, and said something about a prince. I soon realized that he had just seen the part where the Genie hugged Aladin and said, "You'll always be a prince to me." Asher got all embarrassed and ran off.
-When he's going #2 and it doesn't come out right away he yells, "Come out, poo poo!" Then when it's out and he gets off the toilet, he looks in and says, "Wotsa wotsa poo poo!" (trans: lots and lots of poo poo). Then when we flush it down he says, "Bye bye, poo poo!"
-He says "My" instead of "I". ex: "My hungry" "My wanna watch "Monsters Inc."
-Every night before bed he has to have a battle with me about who's the best.
-When he's in time out he gives himself the talk about stopping screaming and yelling and how it's not nice and that he should be obedient.
-He calls Lena "Weena"
-He pronounces "sandwhich" like "fannich".
-He is getting better at saying "toothbrush", but not too long ago he was pronouncing it "pootrush".

I know there are more but that's good for now. He's becoming quite the character. It's fun!

The Polar Express

2009-12-08T06:36:00.004-07:00

When Brandi's (my best friend) grandma came to visit her and her family she bought tickets for all of them to ride the Polar Express. Every year the Heber Creeper turns their train into the Polar Express for the kids. They ended up having an extra ticket so I was able to tag along.

Asher loved the train! And yes, that is me out in the freezing cold without anything covering Carolina. I'm a terrible mother! (Actually we just ran outside for a quick picture with the train.)
This was after we got settled down. Both of my kids were throwing fits when we first boarded the train.

It was really fun though! All the kids wore their jammies. There were little elves dancing and singing up and down the aisles. They would come and talk to the kids and ask them what they wanted for Christmas. We also got hot chocolate and cookies.
This picture is of us and Brandi's brother, Justin, and dad, Dave... my second family. Oh, and an elf!

Then, after we got to the "North Pole", Santa boarded the train and visited each child to give them a bell. Below is Brandi's daughter, Camri, and Asher with Santa.

Asher loved the bells! That was his favorite part. Santa gave him two, one for Lena, but now Asher has two bells. He now insists on sleeping with them in his bed. I guess the upside is that it has helped him get past his need to sleep with his collection of rocks. Kids!

Las Vegas

2009-12-08T06:11:00.003-07:00

Last month Josh's mom came to Las Vegas to visit her parents. Whenever she comes we try to get down there to visit. We were able to go at the same time as Heather (Josh's sister) and her family. It was great to see family and to get away for a weekend.

We went to the Ethel M. chocolate factory for a tour. It was a shorter tour than we thought but we got to sample some chocolate. We couldn't believe how expensive the chocolate was. But it was really really good!!

As you can see, Asher enjoyed it too!

We also visited a Bass Pro Shop to see this big aquarium tank. Periodically they have mermaids swim in it, but we didn't get to see them. But we did see this huge stingray. I love how small Asher looks in this picture.

We ate breakfast at a McDonald's that had a fun play area. It said it was for parents too, so Josh and Jason had fun playing with the kids. If you look closely you can see that Josh is pulling Asher across those rolly thingies. I am slowly collecting pictures of Josh and Jason "watching the kids" while really playing themselves. :o)

Four generations. Great Grandma Tucker (& Great Grandpa Tucker), Grandma Terry, Josh, and then Asher & Lena

The whole gang before leaving to come back home.

It was great to be able to see Josh's mom and grandparents. We only see them once or twice a year. And it was their first time meeting Carolina, so that was fun too!

I miss my husband!

2009-11-24T14:26:00.005-07:00

Josh would probably get after me for posting this picture. But I think it's funny! Josh has been working so much lately. I barely see him! He has been working at least 12 hour days, sometimes more. A couple weeks ago he worked almost 70 hours in one week!! There are days when he leaves at 5:30 am and doesn't get home till close to 8 pm. His work had to lay off a bunch of employees a few months ago and now work is picking back up. But they don't want to hire a lot of people back on prematurely, so the ones that are still there have been working a ton to get caught up. The overtime is a blessing, but sometimes I'd rather have him home. That's worth more than money. It's hard because I want him home to spend time with us! It's also hard not having a break from the kids aaalllllllll ddddaaaaayyyyy lllllooooonnnnnngggg!!!! Anyway, I just needed to vent a little.

Tail?

2009-11-21T08:44:00.003-07:00

I thought this was hilarious! I thought I'd share it with all of you to hopefully give you a little chuckle.

Precursor: Although Asher is potty trained, he still wears pull-ups while he is sleeping. (The drawbacks of potty training early; it takes longer for them to cut out the nighttime peeing.) And he has started saying "my" instead of "I." For example, instead of saying, "I'm jumping!" he says, "My jumping!" On to the story...

Yesterday Asher woke up from his nap and came in to me and said something about a tail. I said, "You have a tail?" and he answered "Yes!" and turned his bum toward me. I didn't know what he was talking about. He kept smiling and laughing saying that he had a tail. I asked him where his tail was and he kept turning his little bottom toward me. I also asked him if he had a dream about having a tail and didn't really get a response. So, a few minutes later I was taking off his pull-up to put his underwear on and I noticed a small piece of poop in his pull-up and some still stuck in his little crack.

I said "Oh, is this your tail?" and smilingly he answered, "Yes! My have a tail!" Haha!

Thinking

2009-11-19T08:25:00.003-07:00

This might be a long post. For those of you who read my blog, I will not be sad if you choose not to read it, or the whole thing. I want to start blogging more about my feelings instead of just events... even if just for my benefit.

I have been thinking the last few weeks about me. Haha, that sounds extremely arrogant! I have been thinking about the person that I am, and the person that I want to be, and how they compare. I have been thinking about the things I admire in others and how I can adopt those characteristics. I have also been reading "Glimpses", the book about Sister Hinckley. For those of you who have not read it, I highly recommend it. It is very inspiring, not just as an LDS book, but a book about a woman who was caring, thoughtful, comfortable, and compassionate. She is someone I think we can all look to as an example.

I have been thinking about the things in my life that I feel are crutches, things that I think I need to be happy. I find myself having thoughts like, "Oh, I'll feel so much better when we have a bigger house." "I will invite people over when I can get cuter decorations up in our home." "I would feel so much better about myself if I had some cuter, more updated clothes." etc. etc. While reading "Glimpses" and through my own pondering, I have come to realize that I want to be content with the person that I am. I want to embrace the talents that I do have, and accept the fact that I can't do everything. There are just some things that I do not have a knack for. And maybe someday I can learn some of those things, but there is a time and a season for everything. Sister Hinckley was so comfortable with herself. In the book it talks about a time when she had just finished giving a talk to an audience and Pres. Hinckley says something about her having them in the palm of her hand and how she was just herself. She laughed at him and said, "I didn't know who else to be." That was so profound to me. I spend too much time worrying about the things that I am not. I want to spend more time being the person that I am. And know that I am consistently trying to be better, but not worry about what others think.

I also want to be the type of person that helps others to feel loved. I do not want to have any ill thoughts or feelings toward anyone. And I want for every person that I am around to walk away feeling that I care for and love them. I want to have unconditional acceptance of and love for everyone. And part of that is becoming a better, more intent listener. I am not a very good listener.

I have also been facing the fact that I am clinically depressed. I have assumed that I was ever since I was about 16 and started showing the symptoms. But I have now been officially diagnosed. I am learning and coming to accept the fact that it is not anything I did wrong, or do wrong. This is something that is genetic and is not something that I can completely control. In the past, I have felt very weak, like I just wasn't strong enough to deal with life. And even now that I know more of what is going on, I still have a hard time not feeling that way. I tend to be very hard on myself. But I am grateful for the knowledge that I have gained. And I feel hopeful that I can now move forward and take steps to help me feel better.

Because of the chemical disorder and the way that the hormones affect my body I am coming to terms with the fact that we probably won't have any more children. It is very difficult on my body. Not physically. Physical pain, to me, is definitely worth having more children. But emotional pain is different. I do not believe it is worth it to have more children if I am not able to handle it emotionally. Pregnancy makes every woman's hormones go crazy. But for me, it takes a very long time to get them back to normal. During that time, life becomes so difficult that I can barely function most of the time. It has been very difficult for me to feel that I am a good LDS woman if I don't have a lot of children. That is something I have been trying to face and move past. I still have a long way to go. But I am forever grateful for the two beautiful, sweet children that I do have. And I am forever grateful for a supportive and loving husband. I think there are not many who would be strong enough to endure this, who would not feel the need to quit and walk away. He is everything I could ever want and need, and so much more.

I struggle with many feelings of inadequacy and weakness. I struggle with feeling that God loves me, or that anyone loves me at times. But in my heart, I cannot ever deny it. I know that I am loved. I am grateful for the basic foundation that I was raised with, and for the experiences that have strengthened my testimony of our Heavenly Father's love and the ability of our Savior to carry our burdens. Although I feel it is a simple testimony, I am grateful for the knowledge that I can build on it and become stronger in my conviction.

I have many things to work on to become the person that I would like to be. But it is nice having that vision in front of me, and to have a goal to work toward. I can't imagine what it would be like feeling that this life had no meaning, that we were not going anywhere. Isn't it wonderful to have the knowledge that we can continually progress?

Ok, I think I'm finished... for now. :o)

Updates!

2009-10-27T08:32:00.006-06:00

I am not the best blogger. I go in and out of liking it. We'll see how the future goes. I'm not making any promises. :o) Here are a few posts to show what we've been up to since Lena was born. I just realize that I didn't put them in chronological order. Oh well!

First, we had Lena blessed on Oct. 11, the same day Asher turned 2. We decided to have one big celebration for both events.

Not the best picture, but it adequately shows how big Lena is getting. Born at 7 lbs. 4 oz. and 19 1/2 in., she was average size. By her two month check-up she was 11 lbs. 7 oz. and 24 in. long. She grew 4 1/2 inches in 2 months!! Her cheeks are the best!

My beautiful mother with my beautiful daughter. I love this picture!

Asher's birthday cake! Monkeys on the bed! And some fell off. :o)

Asher wasn't quite sure what was going on when we all broke out into "Happy Birthday!"

But he soon picked up on what was going on! :o)

It was a wonderful day!!

Baby Shower

2009-10-27T08:27:00.004-06:00

I did a cake for my best friend, Brandi's baby shower, about 3 weeks after having Lena. That was a task! But here are a couple pictures of that cake. They are a cowboyish family, so it was fun to play with that!

If you can't read the piping, it says "Lil' Cowboy Sawyer" Cute name, huh?

Kids

2009-10-27T08:19:00.002-06:00

First smile caught on camera. But certainly not the last. Lena is the most smiley, happy baby I have ever seen! What a sweetheart!

And here are some of my favorite pictures from a shoot with my aunt, Jenn, when Lena was about 2 weeks old.

I just want to gobble them up! Lena has starting sleeping 7-8 hours a night. Yay! Her top canines have already started moving down. Eek! Hopefully they won't come completely through for a while. She is such a precious, special girl! And I just can't get enough of her! Asher has definitely reached the age of 2. Goodness! But he is sure cracking us up with what he saying and doing. I'll save that for another post though.

Midway

2009-10-27T07:52:00.006-06:00

The weekend of Fall Break, my family went up to a time share my parents have. It was a weekend of games, movies, laughter, food, and fun! I also went golfing for the first time. Sadly, we don't have any pictures of that. But we have a bunch of others ...

Some beautiful scenery shot by my sister, Kayla.

Asher feeding ducks with aunts, Kayla and Erica.

Just hanging out.

And utter relaxation!

A litte more info...

2009-08-09T07:45:00.008-06:00

As promised, here are a couple more pictures of our newest family member, and a little more info. on how everything went.

I'll give you the short version. :o) I started having regular contractions about 10:30 Saturday morning. They started to get more intense about 9 that night. We went to the hospital at 2:30 am when I started to get really uncomfortable. I was hooked up to the monitor about 2:45 am and had Lena at 3:52 am. It was nuts!

The nurse kept asking if I wanted the epidural, but I kept holding off, even though I really really wanted it, because I really wanted to have her naturally. I was only dilated to a 4 when the nurse first checked. But every time she checked again I was another 2 centimeters. By the time I was at an 8, the nurse said "K, I'm going to step out for a minute. If you feel like you have to push, let me know." Well, the second she walked out I needed to push. But there wasn't time to let her know, because the feeling was so intense I couldn't do anything but push. So, I pushed for one contraction, the nurse came back in, and I got another contraction and pushed once for the head and again for the shoulders and Lena was here. It was so fast that my doctor didn't make it, and my mom and Josh barely knew what was going on. Josh's focus was mainly on me, and then he looked down and said, "There's the head!"

So, it was fast! And I did it natural! And it was great! The recovery has been 1000 times better than with Asher. I was up and walking around easily a few hours later. It was the most intense couple hours of my life, but I will totally do it again because of how quickly it went and how great I feel. So there's a little of the story.

Here are a couple pictures. Asher loves his baby sister!

And Lena is already so much like Asher. Asher used to love hanging upside down, even as a newborn. Look at how her top lip just hangs there. It's like a dish! Haha! Just like mommy's and Asher's.

Our little Lena.

P.S. We are pronouncing Carolina like CaroLEEna. We didn't like any other spelling so we kept it the normal way, we'll just have to correct people. But I thought I'd let you in on that, if you hadn't figure it out already. :o)

Our Baby Girl!

2009-08-04T11:57:00.003-06:00

Our baby girl is here:

Carolina "Lena" Eve was born Sunday morning at 3:52 am.
She came in at 7 lbs. 4 oz. and 19 1/2 in.
She looks so much like Asher when he was born. Her cheeks are a lot chubbier though!
Everything went great! She came super fast. We're home now and doing fantastic!
Here are a few pictures. We'll get some more pictures and info. on soon!

Cake!

2009-07-15T14:58:00.005-06:00

I decided to start making cakes for every event coming up so that I can start getting practice. This is one I made for our 4th of July celebrations.

In my experimenting, I realized that using the type of frosting I was trying to use was not going to work. It was way too soft, hence the bumpiness. Because it was getting to be so late, and us needing to get to my parents' house, I just started throwing decorations on. So, don't look too closely. :o) But it was intended to be a learning experience, and that's what it was.

This cake I made for my baby shower last Saturday. It was a little bit more of a success, although it definitely could use some improvement. It's great because each cake I do I realize more things I can be doing differently and better.

As stressful as it is, trying to finish the cakes on time and get them right, it is fun and I really enjoy doing it. It makes me happy and is quickly becoming a passion.

4th of July

2009-07-15T14:52:00.004-06:00

We are not so good at taking pictures, I've just realized. We got home from our Independence Day celebrations and saw that we only had a couple pictures total, none with me in them at all. We are determined to do better.

We spent our celebrations at the Arts festival on Friday and at the balloons and parade on Saturday. We also spent Saturday evening with my side of the family enjoying food, games, and fireworks. All in all, it was a great celebration!

Slightly Late

2009-06-17T18:55:00.005-06:00

Well, some of you know that I did my sister's cake for her wedding... last October. :o) I am just now getting my hands on the pictures to post on my blog.

Cake decorating is something I have had an interest in for a while but haven't had the opportunity to do a lot with yet. When the opportunity came up to do this cake I took it because it was something fairly simple, seeing as how I don't really have any experience yet.

I am now looking into doing a lot more with it and becoming more of an expert. But I just wanted to share a couple pictures of the one wedding cake I have done so far.

Counting

2009-06-15T07:14:00.003-06:00

This is a little post to brag about my little miracle of a son. The other day Asher was playing with some game pieces. He was making them jump off the computer desk when I heard him say, "one, two, three..." I was shocked because I have counted a little with him, but not much, only to about five on fingers. I have been focusing more on shapes and colors. I looked at him and said, "Did you just say 'one, two, three?'" He then preceded to say, "four, five, six, seven, eight." I was amazed! I'm sure he's heard it before, but I don't really know where and I didn't realize he knew the numbers that well.

I haven't been able to get it on video yet, but will keep trying. So, we've been practicing our numbers and letters. He'll be sitting playing and I'll hear him say things like, "six, H, X, two..." He names off all the numbers and letters he can remember. I am blessed with such a bright child. If he keeps this up, he'll pass me up in a few years. :o)

3 Posts in one day--Look at me go!

2009-06-04T09:54:00.006-06:00

Yesterday was our 3-year anniversary. What a three years it has been. We have been through our share of trials... but I am happy to say that we have come out on top. And life is better than ever! I don't know where I would be without this man, the greatest blessing of my life, outside of the Gospel. He inspires me to be the person that he thinks I am (if that makes sense). I heard once in a movie this quote, "It is a wonderful thing for a person to look into your face when you've gotten old and still see what you think you look like." I greatly look forward to the rest of our lives together!

These are not the best pictures, just some I already had on my computer. (Most of our wedding pictures are hard copies, I have yet to scan them in.) Below are a few pictures of us. This first one has a story to go along with it. When Josh purposed he said he was just doing a dry run so that he wouldn't be nervous when the real thing happened. He had a ring pop to fake purpose with... the real ring was hidden in the bag.

Do you remember that feeling of walking out of the temple to your friends and family clapping and thinking, "I did it!" What a wonderful feeling, knowing that you worked hard to be worthy to be sealed for time and all eternity to the person of your choice. There are few better feelings in life.

Our first Christmas married.

3 years and almost two babies later... Wow! There is no other person I would rather spend eternity with!!

Potty Training

2009-06-04T09:23:00.006-06:00

For those of you who don't know, I have been potty training Asher. He has been doing great! I got a lot of ideas from Carlee Tulett and from reading. Asher picked it up really well and I am so looking forward to not having two kids in diapers! Yay! But we still have our accidents. Below is a picture that Josh took (obviously male sense of humor... ok, I think it's a little funny) of Asher having pooped in his underwear. If you look closely it looks like he's got a turtle tail. :o)

This is him saying "Stop!", the new word he's picked up. Great!

I caught him singing a made up song about Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck while sitting on the pot and thought it was so cute, so I caught it on video. His facial expressions just crack me up. He looks so concerned when he sings.

Mini-Vacation

2009-06-04T08:58:00.005-06:00

Because Josh had a four-day weekend over Memorial Day, we decided to take a little mini-vacation down to St. George. Our first day was spent driving and then just relaxing. Our second morning we went swimming before check-out. Asher loved the pool... after he got over tripping over a heating vent and falling face first into the water.

After check-out we found a really fun imagination park. We played there for a little while, but it was super hot!The next day was Sunday, so we visited the temple. Here is Asher cheesin' it! We also found Brigham Young's winter home and went through a tour there. That was neat for me because I am one of his direct descendants. And then went up the canyon and climbed this huge rock. It was a beautiful view!

Our last day was spent with Josh's sister and her family in Hurricane. We hiked a couple small trails in Zion National park. Asher's favorite part was throwing rocks into the water. How cute are daddy and son pictures?!?

Mother's Day

2009-05-11T20:13:00.004-06:00

We recorded this to say Happy Mother's Day to our mothers/grandmothers. I thought the video was so cute that I thought I'd post it for all to enjoy.

P.S. Obaachan means grandma in Japanese... and for those of you who don't know, Josh is Japanese, not Latino. :o)

Corrections

2009-05-08T07:20:00.002-06:00

Maybe some of you can relate... I am the type of person that thinks and rethinks things. Hence, the reason for this post. I always go back and read my posts later, sometimes several times, to make sure they are the way that I want them to be. The last two posts I haven't been happy with because I feel that I should've added something to them in both cases. So, I will make some corrections... or additions. :o)

The joke post talks about me not having money to do any of the things that the woman is talking about. I just want to say that even though we cannot afford for me to have new clothes, hair appointments, and chocolate (ok, maybe a little chocolate), I am not complaining. I am by no means homeless and was not comparing myself to her. I have a lot to be grateful for!

Second, it occurred to me that it might seem a little silly for me to post about my good grades when a lot of you probably got or still get grades similar to this all the time. I just wanted to add that these grades are not an abnormal occurrence for me under normal circumstances. The reason I am so proud of them is because of everything I had going on this semester (i.e. taking care of a toddler, attending two different schools at the same time, my husband working full-time, and being pregnant, etc). I am proud because I wanted to give up so many times but didn't... and I pulled it off.

Anyway, this may seem unnecessary but I worry about giving the wrong impression sometimes. I also frequently walk away from conversations feeling dumb about the things I said or the way I said them. I hope some of you do the same so that you can relate. :o)

A Little Boasting Time

2009-05-07T07:31:00.002-06:00

I just checked my grades for this last semester. I know it's not good to boast... however, I am proud of myself! This last semester has been crazy and busy and hectic! I took 3 classes at UVU, Biology, Health, and Physical Science, and the sciences are not my forte. I also took a dental assisting class and will be finishing that up this weekend.

I began the semester knowing it was going to be difficult and just wanting to pass my classes to be able to finish up my Associates. Well... I passed... with 2 As and 1 A-. Can you believe that?!?! I am proud of myself! I just sat and stared at the grades when I first pulled them up. Anyway... that's all. :o)

Giving Up Chocolate

2009-05-05T15:12:00.006-06:00

In light of the approaching Mother's Day celebration, I thought I would share a joke that my sis-in-law, Sarah, shared with me that I think is dang hilarious!

Because of the darn economy, I can't afford any of these things at the moment... but it doesn't take away from the humor. Enjoy!

Giving Up Chocolate

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate.'

Hectic

2009-04-07T07:54:00.007-06:00

For those of you who don't know, I am currently in classes to become a Dental Assistant. I am also trying to finish up my Associates degree before our little girl comes, and taking three classes at UVU; Biology, Physical Science, and Health.
It's been a little crazy!

I wanted to get the Dental Assisting finished by the time the baby came and didn't want to be in classes close to my due date so I decided to start the program while still taking my other classes. It probably wouldn't be as crazy if I didn't have an 18-month old, who has recently decided to show some real independence by the way :oI, and if I wasn't pregnant. It's been killer!! Yay for trying to have more ambition! :o)

Anyway, this post is to say that I haven't been posting very often because I am constantly working on homework. Asher is to the point where he cries when I get on the computer because I don't pay attention to him very well. So I have taken to waking up around 4-4:30 in the morning to get homework done before he wakes up and then working on homework while he's taking a nap. All my finals, including the one for Dental Assisting, are April 27-May 2, so I am looking forward to this month being over. I'll be a better poster then. Don't give up on me! :o)

Guess What!!!!

2009-03-19T07:50:00.005-06:00

IT'S A.....

GIRL!!!!!!

Aww! I love the profile pics! So cute!
Yay! We're so excited!

Except now we're gonna have to get all new stuff. :oI

Time for an Update

2009-02-26T08:54:00.004-07:00

Well, for those of you who don't know, Asher and I are back at home. And life is better than it has been in a long time. Josh and I attended a marriage seminar through BYU up at Aspen Grove over Valentine's weekend. (We would highly recommend every couple attending at least once, by the way!) We felt that we received very wise and inspirational counsel. That weekend I went home feeling uplifted, but still unsure. To make a long story short, as I was on my knees praying, I realized that everything could be worked out. I realized that I desperately wanted to keep this family together and that I needed to turn my burden over to the Lord. I also realized that I probably was not receiving the guidance that I was seeking because I was not putting forth any faith in my Father. I thought what better way to show my faith than to go home, even though I didn't know how everything would be resolved. I also realized that I wasn't really making the decision to want to stay in this marriage, but was making the decision to live up to a decision I already made when choosing to get married, if that makes sense.

I very personally feel that Father jumped at that opportunity to help me. I texted Josh, because he was at Church, and said that I wanted to come home that second. We moved me back in that day. Josh welcomed me home with open arms.

I am not going to say that everything will be great from here on out. I have already had a couple days of doubt and wonder. But it feels so different than before. If I can prove my faith by praying and asking for His help, He is always there, and I have to continue to remind myself that I gave the Lord this burden and that He will help me. It has been such a needed change. And all I had to do was exert the tiniest amount of faith. Although I feel that every circumstance is different, this is what was right for me. I truly have an above averagely wonderful husband and I couldn't ask for more in my eternal companion.

Not everything is fixed. I am going to therapy sessions and taking natural hormone supplements. But the difference that the Gospel brought me was indescribable! I don't know how I let myself slip so far away from it. I am so grateful for the opportunity Father gave me to come closer to Him. So far, this experience has strengthened my testimony greatly in the Atonement and in faith.

I just wanted to share my experience.

Thank you all so much for your love and support and prayers. We really have such wonderful family and friends! For the first time in a long time I feel excitement for the future, for this new baby, for our family, and to work to be with them throughout eternity. I can't imagine anything better!

Decision

2009-02-04T13:26:00.002-07:00

This post is to let all of you know that Josh and I have come to a decision. Because things have been so difficult as of late, we have decided, after much pondering and discussion, for Asher and me to move out temporarily. We will be living with my parents in North Provo. I am putting this on here because I want to be honest and open with all of our family and friends.

Although Josh doesn't want this to happen, he is willing to do whatever I feel will help me to be happiest. I have thought about this a lot and for a long period of time. I am going to dismiss my worry about what others are going to think, and go with what I feel in my heart is the right thing for me right now. I feel that having some time away from home will help me to gain perspective on where I am at in life, and why I have been feeling unhappy. I feel that it will give me some time on my own to change some things that I want to change, without the added stress of having to keep up a home and the constant worry of how everything I am doing will affect Josh. It's not that I don't care about how things affect him, but I have worried to the point where I have neglected myself.

I want to set the record straight by saying that Josh is a wonderful person, and although he is humble enough to feel that he has had a part in this, I feel that it is simply because of me not keeping myself emotional and psychologically healthy.

For those of you that I have talked to in depth about this, I sincerely appreciate the time you have taken to listen and the advice given and would like each of you to know that I am taking that advice to heart and using it daily. We are taking numerous steps to correct what has gone neglected. To those of you in our ward who check this, I will be attending my parents ward since I will be in that area. And most likely Josh will switch his records to the local family ward. We love each of you and hope to see you soon.

I appreciate the love and support we feel from each of you and will keep you updated on what is going on in our lives. Again, I simply feel that this is the best thing for me right now. Thanks to each of you for everything you do for us!

Honesty

2009-01-29T10:54:00.005-07:00

I always complain that women in the LDS Church do not communicate their true feelings. I feel like a lot goes unsaid, and a lot of women silently suffer because they feel that they should be acting a certain way. It is ironic that I am one of those women. I tend to bottle up my feelings and put on a brave face for others around me, most of the time. I let my true feelings show to a certain few people. And to those people, I apologize, because when I need to vent it all comes out on them.

In an effort to be more open, I am going to go out of my comfort zone to express some of the feelings that I keep bottled inside. You do not have to keep reading. :o)

I have battled with depression every since I was about 16. It comes and goes. I am also a people-pleaser and because of that I feel a lot of guilt because of things I did, or did not do. I have been having a hard time with life ever since Asher was a few months old, battling with my emotional health, and feeling like I don't know who I am anymore. I know that a lot of mothers go through this, at least that's what I keep hearing. But it doesn't take away from the fact that it is miserable and lonely! I go back and forth quite a bit, feeling happy, then feeling hopeless. It is difficult on Josh, too. And there's the guilt again, feeling horrible for putting him through this. And through it all, I have a really hard time feeling like I have any faith anymore. I find myself doing a lot of questioning of my beliefs. I feel conflicted between what I have been taught to feel and what I really do feel.

And I worry! Mostly about what this is doing to my marriage, and the example I am setting for Asher. I desperately want to change before Asher can learn from this terrible example. I do not want him to learn these tendencies and habits. And add to that another child. I feel bad that sometimes this pregnancy makes me feel trapped, like there's not hope for me to come out of this, especially after the life of having two children will set in.

After dealing with this for a year, Josh and I are finally realizing that we need to do something about it. We are taking steps to get me into therapy and to nurture our marriage a little more. It is difficult because when it's good, it's fine. But when it's bad, it's horrible, consuming to the point where I can't imagine it ever getting better and I just want to run away so that I do not drag Josh through this. There is so much more... but for those of you who are reading this, I'll stop now.

For those of you who do feel, or ever have felt, like this, I would say that you're not alone. And for those of you who think I'm nuts and don't understand what I am feeling at all, I admire you and hope that things will stay the same for you. If I can ask for your prayers... we would really appreciate it. The Terry family is finding itself in a difficult place right now. Hopefully, if we can exert enough faith, it will get better. It is just summoning that faith that is very difficult for me sometimes. I feel very alone most of the time. Anyway... I apologize that this is so depressing. I just thought it might be nice to get some of this out so that I do not have to pretend all the time. It's exhausting!

Another Addition

2009-01-19T18:42:00.005-07:00

Well, most of you already know but we just had our first appointment so it's time to let the cat out of the bag...

I'm pregnant! :o)

I am 11 weeks and 2 days. This is what our baby looks like at this stage in the pregnancy. (It's not really our baby)

PS I'm due August 8th... Yeah, I know, it's gonna be a GREAT summer! :o)

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

2009-01-14T11:57:00.004-07:00

Yep! Today is Josh's 26th birthday! I just wanted to take a minute to say Happy Birthday! And to say how much I love him. Josh is the most patient, supportive, and humble husband. I would not be able to get through life without such a humble husband. He is wonderful! Heaven knows that I make him put up with a lot. And he bears it so well. I literally don't know where I would be if it weren't for his support and love. Heavenly Father sure knows what I need in a husband. And on a lighter note, I haven't found anyone that I can laugh harder with, and be my very strange cooky self with. (Well, some friends and family have seen a small part of that.) I just couldn't ask for more! And I am so grateful that he chose me!

And PS-He is the cutest dad!! Asher dang adores him!

Newest Addition

2009-01-11T07:58:00.004-07:00

This is our third attempt to have a dog. :o) The first two were puppies of this cute mommy.
The first one was run over. :o( And the second we got two months after Asher was born, and it was just too difficult on me. I felt like I had two babies. So, another home was found for him. Alisha decided that three dogs was a little bit much so we gladly took this one off her hands over Christmas break.
Meet Maizy! She is 3 years old and is mellow and calm and the perfect dog for our home.
Asher LOVES her! He has taken to crawling around on his knees following her around and when she stops he lies down next to her. She is very patient with his "petting" and playing.
Oh, and she is a miniature long-hair dachshund. We love her!!

She likes to get under our bed and poke her little head out from under the covers. And in case you're wondering what that cord is... Josh got me a heating blanket for Christmas! It is the best gift ever!!

And this picture is a little PS. Asher likes to dress up in daddy's work boots when daddy gets home for the day. And he likes to talk on the phone. He puts it to his ear and says "Ha-dah!" (translation: Hello!)

Christmas

2009-01-05T08:01:00.007-07:00

Ok, better late than never, right? Here are some pictures from events over the Christmas break. These aren't necessarily in the right order.

We spent Christmas Eve with my side of the family. Here is a picture of Asher enjoying my dad reading the book we read every Christmas Eve. It is called "The Christmas Miracle of Johnathon Toomey." I highly recommend it for those who have not read it.

We also spent Christmas Eve up at my Grandma's. I just had to include this picture. My grandma got my 17 year old cousin onesie pjs for Christmas. It was hilarious!

Ignore me in this picture. :o) What I wanted to show is Asher. When we were at my parents' house for Thanksgiving, Asher started playing with the broom after dinner, something he does frequently at our house. So my grandma got him his own little broom and dust pan for Christmas. He loves to help sweep! It's adorable! We also got him a little lawn mower that he likes to push around, like he's vacuuming. He loves the vacuum!

These next pictures are of a day I spent up in Salt Lake with Brandi. She wanted to go to dinner and to Temple Square to celebrate her b-day. So, on the day of Josh's final in Salt Lake I went up early with him. While he was testing, Brandi and I took the kids to see Santa and then over to the Zoo lights. Those were cool!! We then met up with Nate and Josh for dinner at Applebee's and then we all went over to Temple Square. So, here's Asher all bundled up at Temple Square. It was so cold! And he didn't complain one bit.

This last picture is of Asher and Camri playing with this really cool maze for balls to go through in the Hansen Planetarium. It's huge! Brandi and I came upon it one day and spent a good 45 minutes... hehe, we're like little kids.

Those aren't all the pictures from the break, but some fun ones. We also spent Christmas day with Josh's side of the family. Unfortunately, we video taped a lot and didn't take pictures. I don't know why we can't ever seem to do both at the same time.

Our next adventure will be getting me through this next semester, as I am planning to double my school load in order to finish my Associates degree quickly. So, we'll see how often this is updated after this week. :o)

Finals--Bleh!

2008-12-15T12:20:00.003-07:00

Well, this will be a boring post. Josh and I are completely consumed with final exam preparation. I have two finals tonight and one on Wed. afternoon. Josh has one on Thurs. night and one Fri. afternoon. Then we will be free from school requirements for two weeks!! So, I'll post later when I have something better to talk about... and more time. :o)

Family Pictures

2008-12-09T08:44:00.008-07:00

We finally got some professional pictures done. I LOVE them and wanted to share some of my favorites with you! Our photographer was in love with Asher. :o) She was surprised at how good he was. Anyway, it was so fun! Enjoy!!

Self Reflection

2008-11-24T12:36:00.006-07:00

An event from last week has forced me into self- reflection. This event was hurtful and made me realize that I still have a long way to go. But as I think about it, and try not to think about it, I am ashamed to say that I find myself wanting to show that I am hurt around this person so that there is no way that they do not know how much they hurt my feelings. This feeling probably stems from a lifetime of learning to play the victim. I have had to fight myself to not act this way. This experience has been a big reminder to me of how "young [I] am spiritually", to put it in the words of Elder Maxwell. But I am grateful for these reminders because it shows how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I recently heard it said that we should not get upset when people point out our faults because it means that they have not given up on us yet. Isn't that true of Father? He will never give up on us, how comforting that is. It is so difficult for me to punish Asher when trying to teach him obedience. I cannot imagine the hurt it causes Father to have to gently, and sometimes not so gently, remind us of our weaknesses. But as we read in Ether 12, He "gives" us our weaknesses, just like he gives us blessings. They are for a specific purpose, and I take comfort in that as well. Can you imagine life if we were not reminded of our shortcomings? We would have no desire to be better. What a generous and loving Father. So at this Thanksgiving time, I am grateful for reminders of our weaknesses and for the infinite love from our Father!!

6 Quirks

2008-11-11T08:19:00.004-07:00

I was tagged by my friend, Stef, to list 6 quirky things about myself...this should be interesting.

1. Popcorn is like a food group to me. It goes way past comfort food. I could live off of popcorn and juice. Josh worries about me sometimes because that's all I feel in the mood to eat. It's definitely not the worst thing I could be eating, but not the best. When I was pregnant I ate popcorn at least 2 or 3 times a week, and when I say I ate popcorn I mean I ate an entire bag each time.

2. I still enjoy old cheesy tv shows like Full House and Saved by the Bell and Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the one I am most emabarrassed to admit).

3. I am obsessed with chapstick and lotion. I put both in whatever room I am going to be in the most that day. When I was in high school and forgot either/both I would tell my parents that I forgot homework so they would turn around and go home so I could get them. Josh used to tell me that I was addicted to them, and that addictions are bad. He eventually got used to the idea. I joke that when we have a big home I am going to have chapstick and lotion in every room...but it's not really a joke.

4. I am a little OCD about some things...ok after hearing this, you'll probably think I'm a lot OCD, but it's only about a few things. For example, when I was sending out our wedding announcements, I hand wrote every single one and wouldn't let anyone help me because it would have bugged me to have them not written in the same handwriting. I know that no one else would know, but it would bug me.

5. I have a really hard time not finishing a book once I started reading it, even if I don't enjoy it. I am constantly reading, and I have probably only done that once or twice in my life. And on that reading note, I read every single page of every single book I was assigned in high school. Even if I didn't get time to read the assigned chapter before it was due, I would always go back and make it up.

6. I am really scared of really big things, like diesel trucks. When one is coming up behind me on the freeway I feel like I'm being chased by a dinosaur and I have to change lanes. And I have a hard time looking when I'm passing over large expanses of water (especially when it's dark) because I just know that some huge sea monster is going to jump out of the water.

Wow, I've just realized that I am a very strange person! :o)

Oh, and I tag Cherisa, Arian, and Sarah. And anyone else that wants to do it.

Asher is 1!!

2008-11-11T07:56:00.011-07:00

I know it is a little after the fact, but I wanted to post some pictures of Asher's 1st birthday. Because Camille got married on his birthday (the 11th), we didn't celebrate it until the 24th. We had a lot of fun! Here are some pictures...

Instead of doing a big cake, I decided to do a cupcake tree. I was only going to feed Asher a cupcake but Josh didn't think that was big enough so I made a little cake for him.

Asher loved all of his new toys, clothes, and books! Again, thank you to everyone!

And finally the cake. I was so scared for this part because I try to keep Asher away from a lot of sweets. But he did really well. He enjoyed the cake and didn't go crazy when I took it away from him. He started out slow and then ended up eating almost half of the cake. It seemed so surreal to me to watch him eat his 1st birthday cake, when I have grown up watching videos of me and my siblings doing the same thing. So fun!
(excuse my weird singing face, not my most flattering moment.)

What a cutie! Happy Birthday Asher!!

New and Improved

2008-11-03T12:50:00.007-07:00

New and Improved blog. New and Improved me. I have decided to try this blogging thing again, and do it more for me than for anyone else this time. I admire those who can be so open with their experiences and feelings. I tend to hide what I am really feeling, put up a front, a mask. But I am going to try to be more open. Very honestly, the last few months have been very trying. But I feel that I am at the tail end of the trial and am grateful to be on the other side of it. I am grateful for a wonderful, loving husband who has not judged or gotten angry with me, who humbly seeks to find ways that he can help the situation (even when I adamantly explain that it is just me), and who continually praises me for my progress and expresses love to me. I could not ask for more in a husband. And I am grateful to all who were willing to listen time and time again.
This time of trial has been a time of reflection for me. I realized a lot about myself. The greatest thing that I realized is that my most important role is in my home. I also realized that this is different for every woman. Just because I received this answer, does not mean that every other mother will. I realized how important it is to me to have a comfortable, clean, yummy smelling home environment. I realized how important it is for me to keep up my housework and to help Josh in all that he does in school and work to provide this life for me and for Asher. I realized that I am talented and creative and intelligent and can use all of that to raise my children to be wonderful people, and can use that to help my husband to be successful in his career.
I am not always confident. There are many times of self doubt, frustration with myself. I am human. But I also have the potential to be a Goddess, along side my husband. This life is wonderful! It is difficult! But it is wonderful! I am grateful for women who are strong and keep on keepin' on!
One of the most poignant realizations that I had was that I have control over my life. I am taking a class right now that is based around Dr. Stephen Covey's book "7 Habits for Highly Effective People." I strongly encourage everyone to take the time to take that class. It is offered at UVU! It is wonderful and definitely worth it! This class has helped me to wake up and understand that I can take responsibility for my own happiness. We do not have to be angry, hurt, frustrated, helpless, walked on, etc. We do not always have control over what happens to us, but we have control over the way we respond to what happens to us. What a wonderful concept to implement into our lives.
I know this is a long post, but I want to share one more thing. I believe that this conept has the power to transform any relationship. Josh and I love it! This is an exerpt from Habit 1: Be Proactive. Dr. Covey shares this experience:

"At one semniar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, 'Stephen, I like what you're saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I'm really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?'
"'The feeling isn't there anymore?' I said.
"'That's right,' he reaffirmed. 'And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?'
"'Love her,' I replied.
"'I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore.'
"'Love her.'
"'You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there.'
"'Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her.'
"'But how do you love when you don't love?'
"'My friend, love is a verb. Love-the feeling-is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?'
* * * * *
"In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsiblity and empowered them to do so.
"Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a vlaue that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured."

I just wanted to share that with everyone, I loved it soooo much! Life is hard and frustrating, mundane, routine, and monotonous, but it is also full of wonderful and exciting moments. We, I especially, need to live for the good moments, and have faith that when hard moments come, it is just another bridge we need to cross to find the next good moment!

Blah

2008-07-22T14:18:00.004-06:00

I am just writing this for those few of you who do look at my blog. I have been busy with school and have kind of lost my enthusiasm for blogging. I'm no fun, I know. I do still enjoy looking at all of your blogs though. Anyway, I'm just writing this to let the couple people that check my blog know that I'll just send out an email to let you know when I do start blogging again, so you don't waste time checking it.

What is the deal?

2008-05-22T21:22:00.004-06:00

I don't know how many of you watched American Idol on Wednesday night. Because I had class, I taped it and watched it yesterday. I could not believe when Ryan Seacrest said they had over 97 1/2 MILLION votes the night before! Personally, I feel that this is getting a little out of hand.

It made me reflect on how much I know about what is going on in the world around me. Most Americans have no idea what is going on with the presidential campaign and world news, but we all know who won American Idol. I realized how guilty I am of this also. I don't know a lot about what is going on around the world. I hear things in passing, or as I'm flipping through the channels and just happen to land on the news station. It is sad!

When we were in Disneyland I was nursing Asher in the nursing station and I couldn't help but listen to the conversation of the two women working there. They were talking about a Nicole who was having a baby. I just assumed they were talking about someone they worked with, the way they were so casual about it. It wasn't until they started talking about Angelina being pregnant also, that I realized they were talking about celebrities. The way they just through around their first names like they new them personally was so funny to me. I have been thinking about how easy it is to become wrapped up in the lives of celebrities, or the latest tv show. This realization has made me want to commit myself to becoming more involved in better things. I can do so much better with the way I use my time!

And another class...

2008-05-12T10:40:00.005-06:00

In addition to my music classes at UVSC, my sister, Camille, and I have also begun a cake decorating class. We have both talked individually about doing it, and finally decided we would take the classes together. Last Saturday was the second class of the first course. (There are four classes in each course, and four courses total.) So, I thought I would share some pictures of the first cake I made (from scratch, mind you!) and decorated. Don't laugh!

I decided to do the cake for my mom for Mother's Day. It is a yellow cake with raspberry jam/jello filling.

Here, the cake is completely frosted. It is very difficult to get it completely smooth with this kind of frosting. Which is so frustrating because I can be a little OCD sometimes. Just doing that took A LOT of work! It still bugs me that I wasn't able to get it smoother...?...yeah, I don't think that's a word.

And the finished product! I put those little colorful dots all around the sides too. The flowers were outlined by cookiecutters, but the "Mom" is all freehand. Mildly humorous...but it's my first cake.

These classes are a lot more work (and money) than we anticipated. I think I have more homework for this class than my three UVSC classes combined. But we have a blast! Hopefully someday I'll be good enough to make a little side money from it. But for now, I'm just having fun!

Back to School

2008-05-06T15:47:00.007-06:00

Well, I'm back in school. I haven't taken any classes for a year now and for some reason it feels different to me. I guess it's just being a mom or something...I feel old. :o) It's an interesting feeling. I look around me and the majority of students I see are single and looking for that someone special. And as grateful as I am to be past that part of life, it makes me feel like I don't fit in the college atmosphere anymore. I guess that is just part of growing up though.

But I have realized how much I missed being in a learning environment. I am so excited to go to my classes and to do homework. Ok, I'm a little nerdy. And taking piano, voice instruction, and music 1010 doesn't give me bazillions of hours of homework, so maybe that's why I don't mind it. The next half of the summer semester will be a little tougher with ethics and values and elementary astronomy. Anyway, this is a boring post. It's mostly just to say that I'm back to school!

California Trip

2008-04-30T15:45:00.004-06:00

Josh, Asher, and I decided to join Heather, Jason, Jaron, and Tayson (hey, that rhymes!) on an adventure this last week. All 7 of us embarked on a vacation to California. It was fun...although I don't know what we were thinking taking one almost 3 year old, a 6 1/2 month old, and a 4 1/2 month old. But we had a blast spending three days in Disneyland and California Adventure, and one day each at Universal Studios, Sea World, and the San Diego Zoo.

We have a ton of pictures, but I tried to pick some of the highlights.

We were able to snap a ton of pictures with characters. Others inlcude: Pluto, Goofy, Eeyore, Spongebob, Curious George, Mickey, and Shrek and Fiona.

Cute Jaron cheesin' it on Pooh's honeypots.

We actually bought this hat for Asher and had his name embroidered on it. We didn't purchase the slippers, just borrowed them for a quick sec to snap a cute picture.

In front of statues of Snow White and the 7 dwarfs.

Josh and Asher tuggin' on the Sword in the Stone, while Asher keeps warm in mommy's sweater.

At the San Diego Zoo.

This was my first time at Sea World. We got to pet stingrays! And feed and pet dolphins too! I kept saying I felt like a kid in a candy store!

Asher and me waiting for the dolphin show to begin.

I just had to add this cute pic of the two babes dozing on the couch together.

And a picture of us almost being eaten alive by Jaws at Universal Studios. It is amazing that we made it out ok. :o)
All in all it was a ton of fun! Thanks Jason and Heather for letting us crowd in on your vacation!

Time for an update!

2008-04-16T17:05:00.005-06:00

Well, it is crazy to think that last week Asher was officially 6 months old. Life has never gone so fast! We also discovered last week that Asher has his first tooth. As Josh and I talked about it, we both realized that we were feeling the same way...that Asher had reached a big milestone and that we were both looking at him differently. He is growing up! It is so important to cherish each moment instead of rushing to get to the next thing, as Elder Ballard shared in his conference talk. Time goes so quickly. It is bittersweet!

Below are a couple pictures my sister took just after my grandma's memorial service. She gathered some flowers from the bouquet on my grandma's casket and was playing with Asher as we drove to the church for the family luncheon.

Asher has recently been falling asleep in funny positions. These are just two of the cute pictures we've captured.

I know every mom thinks they have the cutest child in the world...but I really do! :o)

My Grandma

2008-04-09T16:08:00.009-06:00

I am writing this post as a tribute to my grandmother. Eleanor Adelia Ellsworth Harmon Martin passed away on the 31st of March at the age of 92. This picture is of her holding Asher, the first and only time she was able to meet him. My grandma was a wonderful women! One of my cousins expressed it very well when she said that there was never a conversation she had with grandma when she did not share her testimony of the Gospel and the Savior. I feel the same way. She was the type of woman who could look into your eyes and know when you were troubled. And she always knew what to say to make you feel better. The last conversation I had with her included her sharing some insights with me about a topic that I had just been pondering and praying about and had not even shared with her. She was very close to the Spirit.

But while this is a time of sorrow for our loss, it is also a time of rejoicing for her reunion with her eternal companion, Aldo. They had been apart for over 20 years. I know they are together now continuing on with the work. I am so grateful for the life she lived and the amazing example she was to all those who had the privilege of associating with her. She touched many many lives!

I also want to say Happy Birthday to my little sister, Kayla. (She is the one in the black. This picture was taken at my grandmother's funeral and includes me, two of my three sisters, Kayla and Camille, and my mom, Kelli.) Kayla is turning 17 today! Woo Hoo, although she probably won't even see this... She is such a talented and beautiful girl. I admire the testimony she has already acquired. She is so much better than I was at her age. I love her to death! Happy Birthday, Sis!

BYU--here Josh comes!

2008-03-27T11:55:00.005-06:00

Ok, it has been a while since I last posted. I just figured I'd give it a little time because I didn't have too many people that knew about my blog yet.

So, our biggest news is that Josh was accepted to BYU!!! He applied for Fall semester and we weren't expecting him to get in right away. But he did! We are very excited for him! He will get a much needed break from school during the summer, after receiving his Associates from UVSC. He is very excited, but has not yet decided exactly which major to pursue. We'll see how things go and continue to pray and ponder for what it is that will be the best for him as a career. So, that's the latest.

Oh, and Brandi, who my last post was dedicated to, will be flying in tomorrow night. Wow, so exciting! I am so grateful for her safe return.

Shout Out to the Military

2008-03-04T11:53:00.003-07:00

Well, I just wanted to post a little tribute to my best friend. Sgt. Brandi Palmer is currently serving in Iraq as an Army Reservist. This is a picture of her and her little family. Brandi was deployed to Iraq when her daughter was not even a year. Brandi missed Camri's first birthday, first steps, first words, etc. Nate has been the only parent at home for close to a year, while working and going to school. But I don't want you to get the idea that this is to dog on the war in Iraq. In speaking with Brandi, I have learned that there are still good things going on there. The Iraqi people are so grateful for the efforts of the U.S. military.
Brandi will be coming home within the next month! I am so grateful for her safety, and equally grateful for her selfless service. It is because of Brandi, and those like her, that we enjoy the freedoms that we do today. So, please take some time tonight to pray for the military and their families. It is not easy!

My Little Asher

2008-02-29T14:04:00.003-07:00

Well, Asher is the biggest news in our lives right now. He is an absolute doll! The beginning was rough, as I'm sure it is with pretty much every new mom. But I honestly can't express the love I have for this little boy. Being a mother is truly the best decision I have ever made...other than my marriage to Josh for time and all eternity. :o) I never could have imagined how happy I would feel being a mother. Of course, there are times of frustration, but they have no balance when compared to the happiness. I am sure that all you mothers can relate when I say that there a many times when I look at him and pause to think about this wonderful miracle Heavenly Father has blessed me with and I get emotional. Isn't it great?!?!

It's about time

2008-02-28T13:17:00.001-07:00

Well, this is Amber getting "with it!" I keep hearing about blogging. I didn't think I was that out of it until I went to playgroup this week and every single woman there had a blog except me. What a wake-up call! So, I am sitting here trying it out. I'm actually pretty excited! This seems fun...I will just need to limit myself because I can definitely see myself becoming addicted. So...here it goes...